Cubicles

There are some administrative floors in Sama that are all cubicle offices.

It always freaks me out when I have to go to them.

Cubicles scare me. I never want to end up in a job requiring me to work in one.

There is just something about them that is so against my soul. I can't stand them.

Then there is the fact that I get easily lost in those floors, lost in a sea of cubicles.

Thoughts only enforced by the snippets of Office Space that I have seen.

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(Also, as I am writing this, the episode of "Bob's Burgers" that is playing in the background is discussing a similar fear. In that case, the fear of having to sign office birthday cards)

It's Official

From Albert (our course registration/administration page)

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Things That Might Make Responsible People Cringe Vol. 4

I decided to walk to DTC today.

At 10:30AM.

In a black t-shirt.

In 102 degree weather (38.9 C) with 21% humidity.

Without much shade because of the time of day.

At least I had water!

Summer is back.

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Our Town

Yes, I know, this is a very debated love-it-or-hate-it kind of play.

I read it for the first time today.

And I have to admit, I love it. Reading it after being in Abu Dhabi since January, it awakens a sense of nostalgia.

I recognize the small-town atmosphere, I can see the hills of New Hampshire, hear the voices, walk the paths, feel the breeze and the atmosphere.

They mention Lake Winnipesaukee, which is where I lived in my early childhood.

I also appreciate what it is saying. I could analyze it, but I don't want to.

Life, love, death, remembering.

The simplicity, the values, bring me back to my roots.

I would love to attempt to stage this in a non-traditional way, while still maintaing the emotional tone.

Say what you will about the play, but, as a homesick wanderer, it is beautiful.

"EMILY: Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? - every, every minute?

STAGE MANAGER: No. Pause. The saints and poets maybe - they do some." (Act III)

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25 Beautiful Things

One of our creative assignments for Making Theater was to list 25 things we find beautiful, in an action. While I didn't quite stick to the idea of an action or impulse, here is my list. I think it says something about me, but I am not sure what. 

1. Drums so loud they hit your entire being

2. My mom, waking up early to take care of her horse, even in below-zero weather

3. Trusting friends enough to break down in front of them

4. A forest trail, overarched by a canopy of fire-colored leaves

5. Emails that read “I’ll tell you when you get home” instead of the story

6. Power outages, oil lamps, and candles

7. Drawings made with permanent markers

8. Solitary shoes and puzzle pieces on sidewalks

9. The smell of old books

10. Crop circles made by lawnmowers

11. The sleeves of paint arms take on after letting go on a canvas

12. Ultimate players when their bodies aren’t thinking, just running and catching

13. Being able to speak to someone without speaking

14. Marina Abramovic’s artwork/sacrifice

15. Confident, androgynous dressers

16. Steeping tea at midnight, steam rising

17. Tools and scraps scattered around a workshop

18. The safelights of a darkroom, broken by the exposure of the enlargers

19. Purple stencils of tattoos

20. The story of Kali/Kala

21. The spark right before a match lights

22. Friends’ cars filled with memories and junk

23. When you see someone look in the mirror and they realize who they’ve become

24. Non-traditional colors of duct tape

25. Chemical stains on clothing from processing film all day

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The Desert

A few nights ago was Open Mic, and incredible event at our school that always reinforces the talent and passion of my classmates.

One such person is Yannick, who wrote a slam-style poem about home and leaving. As usual, his writing made many of us tear up because of how true it rings.

He quoted a saying that goes something like this:

"When you enter the desert you are lost, and when you emerge you are reborn"

As my first year of college is drawing to a close, I'd like to reflect a bit on that idea, because it definitely holds true.

When I entered NYUAD, I was as lost as I ever was (except maybe during the college search).

I was in classes that were interesting, but that I didn't care about. I wasn't quite sure where I fit in this school, didn't know how to deal with being away from home, and was just generally disoriented and not the happiest.

But I found my friends, (re)found my passions, and began to figure this place out. I started to get un-lost. Not found, exactly, but less lost. Or, lost in a different way. A way that is going somewhere - not sure where, but towards where I should be.

And leaving the desert, I feel as though I have started the process of being reborn.

To start with the superficial - I entered college with long hair, am leaving with it cut boy-short, with no plans on growing it out anytime soon.

I am a theater major now. It isn't the safest choice, but it is one that lights the fire of my heart, mind, and soul.

I'm starting to figure out who I am.  Still working on being comfortable with what I find, but I am in the attempt of realization and love.

I think my confidence has grown. While I am still not the most outspoken, I am more apt to fight for things, and I have done things this year I never thought I would: sleep on a beach, train in a Kalari, perform in the Vagina Monologues, write numerous papers, kill hundreds of trees with said papers, live in the Middle East, camp in the desert, work with a professional theater company as a freshman, walk to get lost in a still-new city, explore topics that challenge my comfort level, audition and be accepted to the RealAD show, and, soon, write a 30-page paper and live in NYC for the summer.

I'm learning to let go, to forgive, to give myself the grace to fall and then stand back up. I'm not the best at any of those, but I am trying.

I don't know what the summer will bring.

I am leaving, reborn, only to return, to be lost again. To continue to grow and change. But not change, necessarily, instead, to "become more of myself".

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Opposites

There are some things that just don't go together.

PowerPoint and Burning Man are two of those things, and I put them together today.

My soul has lost a little part of itself, for corrupting the idealism and freedom of Burning Man with the establishment of PowerPoint, a presentation form I don't particularly like.

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