Fear

I am not talking about scary fears (things such as evil clowns, heights, snakes).

I am talking about quieter fears.

The realization of how far away from home I am. How distant from there.

How much I have changed.

How those changes are going to be seen.

Letting people in. Trusting.

Becoming not just comfortable, but confident in myself.

These fears aren't physically manifested. That makes them worse. I can try to hide from them, avoid them, in spite of and because I know facing them is inevitable, and moreover, a good thing. To make art, to connect, the mask has to fall.

And that leap is a fearful one.

"We try to escape the truth about ourselves, whereas here we are invited to stop and take a closer look. We are afraid of being changed into pillars of salt if we turn around, like Lot's wife." Grotowski, on the role of the theater and actor/spectator relationship.

I am in the attempt of facing these fears.

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Things That Might Make Responsible People Cringe Vol. 3

I am an intended theater major.

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Singing Sand

aka Spring Break. 

The first part of break I spent in Sama, getting ahead on work, getting caught up on various TV shows, and hanging out with my friends who were still in the tower. I also had the best meal, (after an afternoon of Settlers of Catan), since getting to Abu Dhabi courtesy of some of the lovely inhabitants of 703 - Cleo, Sachi, and Mandy (and Jordan, the honorary roommate).  What was learned from the board games is that I can be kinda competitive.  Which apparently people didn’t really know.

Then I departed for the school trip around the Seven Emirates and Oman.

The first day we drove to Qasr al Sarab, which is a resort in the middle of the desert in Abu Dhabi about 15Km (~9Mi) away from Saudi Arabia. On the drive there, which involved going through the desert for quite a chunk of time, I kept thinking about spaces that humans are not meant to be- places that are so sacred and removed that the environment itself repels humans and our interfering ways.

Once there, we made the sand sing. I don’t know how, and I don’t want to know. Some things should stay a wonder.

Then we drove what was supposed to be a 5-hour drive. It was 7. I got just enough sleep to be awake when we got to the hotel. Later the same day, we got up for breakfast. And there was pork. Now, I don’t actually really like pork. But absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or hungrier.

Next we went to Oman and took a tour of the Wadi. The driver of our car was awesome, and we were blasting Rihanna, driving through the mountains.

Songs have memories with them. Up until this point, “All Star” was associated with Destination Imagination, our first competition, which consisted of a complicated mixture of baking soda and vinegar that we didn’t test beforehand and almost ended very badly. Now it has that, but also memories of dusty rocky roads, music, and friends.

That night Sachi (go VT!), Cleo, and I walked the beach. I love the ocean. And we didn’t go into the sketchy but interesting looking building site that was lit as though by embers.

Our hotel was really fancy. Too fancy for my sensibility.  But it was a last minute switch due to overbooking, and thought provoking.

The following day was the dhow cruise, except, unlike the last one I went on, this was the area that might be considered ‘dangerous’ – we were 50Km (~30Mi) from Iran. And we saw smuggling/pirate ships (that is what we were told, and it makes a better story, so I’m sticking to it). There were also dolphins who swam with our boat.

Later in the evening was perhaps the most remarkable part of the trip. We met with an Emirati youth group, who took us dune bashing (our car got stuck), cooked a traditional meal, and built a campfire. It was a rare glimpse into a life we usually don’t get to see.

But it was late. And I take that to be the reason my journaling about the trip dropped off after that point.

The final day was the Ajman Stud farm. I was homesick as soon as the smell of hay and horses hit my nose. The horses were beautiful.

After a meal, we made it back to Sama, to go to classes the next day.

Spring Break 2012

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Spring

Usually Abu Dhabi is a weatherless place. Though, I have to give it credit- there has been rain (what I might actually call rain) a couple times in the past few weeks. We will ignore the fact that some of it might have been man-made.

But spring, spring is a feeling. And I was shocked to find that feeling existed even in the UAE.

It is something in the air. An awakening. Energy.

You can just feel in your heart and breath that winter (in whatever form) is leaving, blending to summer.

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Only at NYUAD #1

The teams that were mentioned at our first pep rally:

Dragonboating
Football (i.e. soccer)
Cricket
Ping-Pong

Go Desert Falcons!

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16 Hour Days

Ah, Tuesday. Except for everyone reading this in a different country, my Tuesday feels like your Wednesday.

And every week it is at least 16 hours long.

Let's review, shall we? I am in the middle of this day right now.

7AM: Wake Up
8:15AM: Making Theater (Sama)

The thing is, class ends at 11:00AM. And it is in Sama. And it is a physical theater class, so my speed in order to get to the next meeting in Sama is pretty hectic. My brain and heart also do not like making the transition from Making Theater to Electra Street.

11:30AM: Electra Street Meeting (DTC)
3:00PM: Office Hours (not every week)
6:30PM: Dinner Meeting (not every week)
8:00PM: Rehearsal
9:00PM: Mandatory Movie for Class

The movie ends at 11, and is every Tuesday.

Which means I will be awake from 7-11 every Tuesday. 16 hours. At least.

Yay 16 hour days!

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Elton John in Abu Dhabi!

I have always had a love/hate relationship with Elton John.

Hate, because my mom loved him. When I was younger, parental approval of a band/TV show/book instantly made it less appealing.

Love, because there was some invisible turning point where I stopped disliking his music on principle, and actually started listening to it.

Since then, he has been, and is, one of my favorite performers.

So when I heard he was coming to Abu Dhabi, I had to go see him. I was on my computer the minute the tickets came out, because if I were in the states, he would be sold out within the hour.

Not so much in Abu Dhabi.

That had its advantages. We got to the concert fairly early, and there was no one really there at that time. Which means we got right at the barrier between the Gold section and the plebian section (ours).

He started with “The One”, a song I hadn’t really heard before, then moved on to “Sixty Years On”, which held a lot of power because he had just turned 65. (And was another song I didn't recognize. Though I have 11 of his albums on my iPod, I haven't listened to all of them). 

Very soon after was “Your Song”. Easily one of my favorites (Along with “Sacrifice”, and “Rocket Man”, which has so much more meaning to me now after living in Abu Dhabi for college).

He played classics, and some new songs as well. Partway through the concert Ray Cooper joined him on drums, and then his encore (just him and his piano) was “Crocodile Rock” and finally, “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”.

It was a beautiful night. My eyes may not have been dry, especially during “Your Song” and “Rocket Man”, and the next day my voice was gone from singing and cheering.

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P.S. If this sounds very schoolgirl fan-ish, it is because it is.