I am not talking about scary fears (things such as evil clowns, heights, snakes).
I am talking about quieter fears.
The realization of how far away from home I am. How distant from there.
How much I have changed.
How those changes are going to be seen.
Letting people in. Trusting.
Becoming not just comfortable, but confident in myself.
These fears aren't physically manifested. That makes them worse. I can try to hide from them, avoid them, in spite of and because I know facing them is inevitable, and moreover, a good thing. To make art, to connect, the mask has to fall.
And that leap is a fearful one.
"We try to escape the truth about ourselves, whereas here we are invited to stop and take a closer look. We are afraid of being changed into pillars of salt if we turn around, like Lot's wife." Grotowski, on the role of the theater and actor/spectator relationship.
I am in the attempt of facing these fears.
<3
I am talking about quieter fears.
The realization of how far away from home I am. How distant from there.
How much I have changed.
How those changes are going to be seen.
Letting people in. Trusting.
Becoming not just comfortable, but confident in myself.
These fears aren't physically manifested. That makes them worse. I can try to hide from them, avoid them, in spite of and because I know facing them is inevitable, and moreover, a good thing. To make art, to connect, the mask has to fall.
And that leap is a fearful one.
"We try to escape the truth about ourselves, whereas here we are invited to stop and take a closer look. We are afraid of being changed into pillars of salt if we turn around, like Lot's wife." Grotowski, on the role of the theater and actor/spectator relationship.
I am in the attempt of facing these fears.
<3
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